“All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.”
I am starting this blog with a disclaimer which some of you will understand later
For last few days I am thinking about “Is Facebooking is fine for a person or it is an interference to privacy “ , prima facie it looks as if everything is at arm’s length, your old friends, your lost groups, following your passion through specified groups and so on so forth…. But these pros comes with cons, imagine scenarios like,
you don’t want to share your some specific photograph to people outside your group or friend list but one of your friend tagged that same photo or commented on it, woala now his friends can see your photo on his wall, take another scenario
One of my male friend don’t want to post his status as “Engaged” with someone but to his surprise his fiancée tagged him saying her relationship status as engaged to him, and everything is loose and open after that,
I am more concerned about all those unmarried guys or girls wanting to be married who will be concluding up their love affairs and then start identifying the girl they want to marry (I am not writing women here because it’s very offensive these days to call a lady as women until the age of 50 which they never achieve before dying) and live a life with (because successful love marriage is a Hypothesis unto failure, it’s worth mention here that one of my close friend would not agree with this).
I can almost anticipate matrimony detective companies coming up which would focus on Facebook investigations. Companies with tag lines such as ‘Helping discover the actual Him/her’ or ‘saving your innocent (please notice the emphasis on word innocent, do u agree with me?) girls from assholes (a better word than DOG)
I can imagine the girl’s parents visiting a private detective firm titled ‘Facebook Investigators’ called as F I in the subsequent write up and having a discussion such as this:
Parent: We are planning to have our girl married to a boy from Delhi (Delhi is infamous for all bad things). “The boy’s name is A Singh (Read disclaimer above). And we want to find out if he is a high-quality fit for our innocent daughter.
F I: Do you know his Facebook ID?
Parent: Yes our daughter has already started Facebooking (this word is not synonym of roombooking) with him. His ID is A.Singh and his email ID is A.Singh@gmail.com
F I: Thank you. Consider your job done. We will need at least 15 days. If we find him not good for your daughter, we will not just give you the proof of his past but also generate proof in the present.
Parent: How much will this investigation cost us?
And suddenly emotional marketing of the detective agency starts and they will charge the unfortunate parents a fortune.
F I: just think about it for a while. How much will you be ready to give to ensure your daughter has a good married life?
And once the client party (parents) exit the scene, one MBA Fresher will be put on the job. He will immediately use one of his Girl IDs and send a friend request to A. Singh. Being already deprived of girls, the poor A. Singh will immediately accept it and fall into the catch.
The MBA Fresher will then go through’ A. Singh’s life history on Facebook and find out that he has changed his relationship status with different girls 3 times in the last four years. Based on the status updates and the comments, the MBA Fresher will also form a report on the kind of relationships A. Singh has had with these three girls.
With the report in hand, he will go to his reporting manager to discuss the future action plan.
Sir, A. Singh has had three girl friends in the last four years. And they were all very deep relationships. Here is the report.”
The MBA Fresher reporting manager will go through’ the report and finally look up and say:
Hummm.. Good but we also need to show that he has not changed. Start chatting with him and get some proof of his intensions.
Will do sir. FYI, I will be using either Priya Singh or Neha Gupta’s profile for this assignment.
As you wish. You are my man
After the go ahead from his reporting manager the MBA Fresher will get onto the task of exposing A. Singh’s present intensions and start chatting with him.
Priya Singh: Hi Singh
A. Singh: Hi Priya, sorry but do I know you?
Priya Singh: Hmmm….does that matter?
A. Singh: clearly not. It doesn’t matter but it helps.
(How many times in a lifetime does a guy get a Hi from an unknown girl anyway?)
Priya Singh: You don’t know me. But I know you. I studied in the same college as you.
A. Singh: Is it? How come we never met?
Priya Singh: I was nervous to approach you. You were so popular.
(Who doesn’t want to hear that he/she was famous in college)
A. Singh: That I was. Which faculty you were in?
Priya Singh: I did B.E. Elex(short form of electronics, one of the engineers showoff words)
A. Singh: Where do you stay?
Priya Singh: I stay in Noida. And I know you stay in Delhi….your FB profile says so.
A. Singh: Yes, I stay in Delhi. Smart girl
(A.Singh kay SRK waley funday : A flirtooo specialist knows that girls like to be called smart & beautiful)
Priya Singh: Thanks. I was feeling lonely & getting bored so thought I might as well gather the courage to buzz you. Hope I am not disturbing me.
A. Singh: No…no…not at all. In fact, I myself am bored.
(A.Singh kay SRK waley funday : For trapping girl’s a smart man should never be busy)
Priya Singh: Thanks. You are a cute (again a trapping word) person.
A. Singh: Thanks. Is that your real profile pic? You look pretty.
Priya Singh: Yes of course.
Priya Singh: So…what else?
A. Singh: What do you mean bored?
Priya Singh: Ever since I have broken up with my Ex three months back, life has become dull. No thrills.
A. Singh: You have come to the right person. (KL but no PD right now)
Priya Singh: What do you mean?
(Actual girls have to do this. After years of chatting a seasoned man starts suspecting if the girl comes easy)
A. Singh: Was just saying that I know Delhi-NCR region in and out. So you have come to the right person.
Priya Singh: Better. I thought you were meant something else…you know what I mean.
(During investigations, it is the job of the MBA fresher to lure the boy into the trap by giving enough hints)
(During investigations, it is the job of the MBA fresher to lure the boy into the trap by giving enough hints)
A. Singh: I know what you mean. But I generally go slowly.
Priya Singh: How slow?
A. Singh: As slow as the girl wants.
The chats continue for around five days and in these five days A.singh starts feeling that he has known the girl for ages.
After Ten days, the Facebook Investigation agency sends its report to the girl’s parents. This is how the report looks.
Same day A. Singh parents get a call from the girl’s parents that they aren’t interested in pursuing the relationship.
After dinner, a miserable A.Singh logs on to Facebook and finds that Priya singh has removed him from her friend list. But wait now Priya Singh is friends with one of his Facebook friends Biru Rana (Read disclaimer in the start)…..talks are ongoing.
very good analysis Sir jee.. ek Sr Analyst se hi itni acchi analysis expect kar sakte hain :).. n so i keep learning more and more.. eagerly waiting for the next part :)
ReplyDeletePriyank ,
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing stopping people from connecting (often call as “Online Dating” ) online based on interests. Shared interests are frequently what bring people together. They just have the added benefit of close proximity — being able to meet to pursue those interests together in a way that isn’t always possible online. Social media enables you to widen your net, but I find that in most cases those relationships are much shallower than real-life ones— probably not a good matrimonial broker sometime. Lol
I am not sure how Social media help in finding partner playing a role of platform provider ( broker) as have never looked out for the same but social media in that kind of relationship — spouses, b/f and g/f, etc( no matter whether it’s in process of or already an existing one) can actually sometime improve the connection. For example, a boyfriend/ girlfrnd IMs to the partner during his/her lunch breaks just as I’m finishing work. There isn’t time to talk face-to-face, and it allows people to talk even while we have lunch — a bit more difficult on the phone as we’re chomping away.
But even though one can have highly personal conversations this way, it’s not a substitute for deeper interactions. For me Nothing better than picking up the phone when you get home from work , spend weekends together. And if one have something serious going on that need to talk about (like a really crappy day at work) visit each other just for the sake of a hug. It’s about using newer communication tools as a supplement rather than replacement. Sometimes it’s about being connected when you need to be, even when traditional means of communication are inconvenient because of timing or location.
The issue of moving I would guess has more to do with ambition than anything else. Staying in touch with someone who’s more distant takes more work. And people are frequently lazy. It doesn’t surprise me that people who probably wouldn’t do it via snail mail or phone calls wouldn’t do it via social media either. It’s about human nature more than tools available.
You do hit on an important thing though — the friends vs acquaintances issue. I can’t speak for everyone but in my own case I see a very similar breakdown between people I put in both groups, whether online or off. The real “friends” are few and far between. There are business acquaintances (and while friendly, they’re still not at the point of being “friends”). And there are people I know more casually. I think people over associate social media relationships with friendship even when the relationships are far from at that point, and I think that’s a result of social network branding. They call your contacts things like “friends” to make you feel all warm and fuzzy and connected, when in reality most are probably in the “fan” or “someone I don’t really know but who I occasionally talk to, assuming I even know they’re alive” categories. Exceptions? Sure. But I highly doubt most people can say the majority of their social media contacts are truly “friends” (in any meaningful capacity).
Nishant